Words We Need

A favorite quote of mine and one that I need to take to heart more and more is: You can grow a lot if you actually listen to many of the things you hate to hear. Especially when they come from someone who loves you.

No one likes to be critiqued or evaluated. No one likes hearing criticism even when it is constructive. But if everyone just smiled and nodded and said what we wanted to hear how would we grow? How would we be challenged to go in new directions, look at things from a new perspective, or deepen the convictions we already have? Challenges strengthen us. Set backs are opportunites for growth. Every failure is a great learning experience. The problem is...so often we hear criticism and bristle at it. We refuse to listen to those who try to correct us or have a new perspective for us. We ignore valuable advice or opportunities for growth because we don't like being challenged.  How we cheat ourselves!

I'm not saying all criticism is constructive. Sometimes people are out to hurt us with words and negative opinions. Sometimes without intending it people say things that dampen our enthusiasm or bring us down. Sometimes people truly don't know what they are talking about when they criticize. But even these experiences are valuable learning opportunities. Perhaps they just reinforce the course that we are already on or give us opportunities to grow in being patient. All too often though, we dismiss the criticism that truly is constructive. Maybe its a spouse or other loved one who has a few words that are aimed at making us think. These people love us. These people know us. They often truly want good things for us. Yet we still don't want to hear it.

It's far more dangerous when we dismiss the difficult things that God has to say to us! God loves us. He always wants what is best for us. Yet God has some very tough things for us to hear. Jesus tells us "Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48)  Wow. That floors me every time. That is a standard that is obviously something I haven't achieved. Perfect? Every moment? Every thought? Every word? Every action? Morally flawless in all I do? Pure self-less, God-honoring motives in everything? One break in that, one slip and its all over! Life-long perfection. That's a standard I've never achieved and already have fallen short of in the last minute...let alone the last 29 years of my life! That's really hard to hear. Yet God wants me to take a good hard look at myself and to see that I'm a failure. I have not and cannot achieve his standards for human life. God wants me to realize that I don't measure up. God wants me to see him (not anything I am or do) as my one and only hope. God used his words to open my eyes to see Jesus, his Son, my Savior, as my only hope. Romans 5:6, 8  says, "You see at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly...God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." That truth just can never get old! That truth is my reality every single day. I am forgiven, bought and paid for by Christ's sacrifice on that cross. He paid the debt for every moment of my imperfection. He did that for every person in the world! Because of the salvation that is mine as a free gift from my God I am free to thankfully grow as his child. Part of that growth is listening to the tough things that I need to hear from his Word, and from the people he's put in my life. Thank God for that! Thank God for any growing that actually happens! So I want to keep listening to the things that are difficult to hear and I want to keep taking them to heart and acting on them. I realize that I have so much room to grow as a Christian man, as a husband, as a father, as a pastor, as a friend, as a son and in every other role and responsibility that God has given me. I can't wait to grow as a way of honoring and thanking God for the amazing grace he's shown me!

So please, don't tell me what I want to hear...tell me what I need to hear! Be real with me. Be honest. Let's all listen to the words we need to hear most--God's. Let's all give and take good constructive criticism...and grow every day!